reflectitious

I came home yesterday to a quiet apartment after a weekend away. In my absence no one had taken out the trash or washed the dishes so the kitchen was a mess but I ignored it. My bedroom was much worse; chaotic from quick packing and a lack of storage space. I added my backpack, violin case, and three bags of food to the clutter and then I tried to sleep in several different places before resorting to earplugs. It felt beautiful to rest. I love afternoon naps because I know I will wake up ready to eat and study scriptures and go back to bed, and then I'll wake up on time in the morning which usually seems impossible.

I had a great weekend in Idaho with friends. I shoveled dirt and played with kids and watched action movies and even went to Sunday School where I was fed false doctrine and reminded not to take offense even though it was kind of offensive. I loved hearing the primary kids sing on Mother's Day and I enjoyed the wide dry fields of sagebrush and the backyard campfire over which we roasted mini marshmallows.

I didn't like coming back to Provo although I felt ready. Provo means school and too hot walks to campus and efforts to make friends now that the ones I had last fall and winter are moved away and leaving on missions. I feel my world spinning today but I am at peace. Life is changing fast and I am changing with it and I think I like the changes. More and more I focus on missionary work although I'm not preparing for a full time mission. I am hungry for truth and the convert I am teaching is myself. I've been told that the gospel's not hard; life's hard. I sometimes think the gospel is hard too, but it is beautiful as well. Today I am developing a series of complex gospel thoughts and questions that all tie together. If I organize them into something coherent, maybe I'll post tomorrow.