the way things go

Several weeks ago I realized that my deodorant was giving me a rash, so I switched brands. You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to find unscented deodorant at regular stores (scents=skin irritants=bad idea for me) but I finally found one labeled in two places as unscented. In the store it smelled like nothing, but I had just finished sniffing Axe deodorants to help a male friend decide which one would please the ladies most, so my nose must have been overwhelmed.

It took me a few days after arriving home to realize something was up. A scent unlike sweat wafted from my underarms. I flipped the deodorant stick over and read the ingredients: right there at the end was listed fragrance. Fragrance? Are you kidding me?

So far, no rash, but I’ve learned not to trust Secret brand product labels.

 

Tattoos I drew during a lazy evening with a friend.

Entertaining dialogue between one of my roommates and the cleaning check supervisor person.

        What I found when I opened my   planner the other day. I was correct in anticipating that I would ignore my instructions to “See Anthro Syllabus. Important!” unless something was due.

Tonight I am going to see the play “Absent Friends” with my awesome friend David.

Then it will be weekend!

alienation

I've never kept a friend for long.
I like to say that it's because of so much moving but I know it's more than that.
Lately I've burned most every friendship that I have.
I don't know why I do it.
I'm not even sure how I do it.
But that's what siblings are for, eh?
Automatic friendship?
No wonder God gave me such a gloriously large family.
That's what I'm thankful for tonight.

That and fall leaves:

garbage moments

A quirk all of my roommates sooner or later have remarked on is my eagerness to take the trash out.

Since this is something people frequently ask me about, I periodically come up with different excuses for this lone example of Catherine the Neat.

Lately I’ve been citing the cartoon Rose is Rose, in which Jumbo and Rose often fight over who gets to take the trash out and have a magical “garbage moment” surveying the beauty of nature.

While I can’t claim to do it only for the view, it certainly helps.

fight part two

I’ve been learning this week how to break arms.

It’s an important life skill, I am sure.

It hurts to practice, but I absolutely love it. I like the power feeling of knowing that if you cross me I can break your arm. Even if you are a body builder, if I get the technique down I can break your arm, because it is my arms and legs and hips all against one of your arms.(For the present we will pretend I know how to do this from more than two positions.)

Who knew I’d turn into an adrenaline junkie? I love the fight sequences in self defense and am this close to signing up for juijitsu winter term. Perhaps I’ll settle for just going to juijitsu club weekly; it all depends on my schedule and ambition.

I went to the gym last night and reflected while doing bench press (a mere 45 pounds—just the bar—but I can almost do three sets of ten reps with that and I am gradually getting stronger) that the rush from that is comparable only to the rush I feel from outdoor rock-climbing and exceptionally happy times with my beloveds. Weight work feels fantastic, and I’ve relied heavily on it to preserve my sanity these past few weeks. When I am angry I lift weights and feel less angry. When I am insecure I lift weights and feel less insecure. When I am anxious I lift weights and feel less anxious. When I am lonely I lift weights and feel less lonely. When I am sad I lift weights and feel less sad. It is kind of like nephews (whom I have praised in the past as fitness aids, antidepressants, and natural birth control) but more readily available to me.

In closing I present you with a baby pygmy hippo.

fight

I hiked Squaw Peak with Benj on Saturday. I think Squaw Peak was the first mountain I ever summited, and that less than a year and a half ago.

The first time I hiked Squaw Peak it wore me out and I was sore for days. This time I felt great as soon as my post-hike headache subsided, and even worked out at the gym later in the day.

Basically I am getting really strong.

Tonight after FHE I fought in the grass with my Alabaman friends Jason and John. They have cool accents and John’s in a Juijitsu class taught by the same guy who teaches my self defense class so we know many of the same skills.

That was the best part of my day today.

my jesus with your feet bearing new life

Self Defense class yesterday was an emotional hour. While fighting on the artificial turf I thought about how vulnerable I am to manipulation, violation, hurt. Only recently did I realize how inadequately I protect myself. I am often more concerned about not hurting others than I am about not being hurt myself, and at times this can be a very bad thing indeed.

With these thoughts came glimpses from this poem, probably from when I was 16, possibly 17.


fog drifts across
stiff sparkling cheeks to settle in and haunt;
today’s tears dry in stinging bright nonscars.

dear friends touch
raw wounds with god-forgiven trembled fears;
soft truth makes weeping lips delight.

I prayed for rain; trees grew from stone.
I prayed for wings; he sent me saints.

lord, help me hope as I have never hoped,
(my jesus with your feet bearing new life)
lord, help me love as I have never loved.