I was so happy while in Garnet Canyon and the letdown after that high has been heavy. It was a true high like I rarely feel anymore. I had all this surplus energy and smiled so much it gave me headaches. I introduced myself to new people at Ward Prayer the night I returned to Provo; Madison commented on how out of character that is for me.
Today I am the usual me again and I don’t like it. The day started with a call home in which I related my desire to curl up in the nearest elephant graveyard and die. Classes were daunting—it was the first day—but I attended because missing the first day is never good.
I think I give off some kind of danger aura when I am feeling like I often feel; today the people I sat next to in my classes moved to other rows so that even in crowded auditoriums I had an entire row of chairs all to myself. The crowds were overwhelming and like a coward I retreated from them and hid in remote hallways where I read Matthew Kelley’s Perfectly Yourself.
After classes I picked up fliers about a depression support group and a tutoring program at a local elementary school and then I signed up for a Folk Music Ensemble audition to be held the day after tomorrow. The better groups tour a lot and are way too intense for me right now, but I’m hoping for a just-for-fun quartet or something like that. They’re heavy on violinists though so we’ll see if they even want me.
This blog is always supposed to be positive so here are ten happy thoughts:
- siblings
- movies
- pillows
- french fries
- salads
- mountains
- cliffs
- waterfalls
- red lipstick
- toothbrushes
I'm immune to your danger aura ;).
ReplyDeletePerhaps lots are.
Nice to see you at ward prayer. The few I was able to introduce you to were happy to meet you.
The folk ensemble sounds great! Hope you get in a fun group. And are you thinking about tutoring elementary school students? :)
ReplyDeleteit's nice that some people don't notice the aura. :-)
ReplyDeleteI think the Tetons are your natural environment, Catherine Agnes. I have a vivid memory of you bouncing up and down singing silly songs at 3-something AM in the tent on the Saddle while I wondered how in the world you had the energy to do more than breathe (while I was busy being obsessively fearful of kleptomaniac marmots). And then you still had way more energy than me on the way down that night. Very interesting. Maybe we can bottle the air and bring it back to Utah :-). I love you!
ReplyDeleteYou're right, Benj--it's the Tetons. I thought all mountains would do it for me, but you've seen how dead I get on other hikes. Maybe I should move to Jackson Hole.
ReplyDeleteyeah --you can move there, Catherine, and then I can come visit you AND enjoy the beautiful Tetons. :-)
ReplyDelete