white glove red hand

Dear Management,

I better pass the cleaning check tomorrow, because I would hate to put my hands through this again. On the plus side, my fridge looks totally awesome.

Catherine

Update: I passed!

sisters

no trespassing

    The same week I went back to the farm, I found that I love corn on the cob. Once it’s cut off the cob, that is.

return of the phantom blogger

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking lately. For once, I believe it has been beneficial. I’m starting to see a light at the end of a long, difficult tunnel I wandered into quite some time ago. I don’t know all the steps needed to get out, but I believe I’m on the way. With faith in Christ, it will all work out.

This week I’ve taken a break from reading the Old Testament to study Richmond Lattimore’s translation of the New Testament. I can’t praise it enough—it’s simple, clear, easy to follow. It reads rather like a novel, with no verse numbers and subtle chapter breaks, and I’m often surprised to find after what feels like a short time that I’ve read fifteen pages. Bible reading is normally a slow thing for me, with more than three pages feeling like a chore. Lattimore’s New Testament has brought me extraordinary peace this week. I bore a stuttered testimony today of Jesus Christ, and felt a trust in him that is brand new to me. He will provide.

hey kirsten, wanna arm wrestle?

              

Excuse me while I weightlift nephews. :-)

faith, hope, and catherine

I woke up Sunday morning dreaming I was back in Täby, where I came to love this church. Everything about the chapel in my dream was Swedish and familiar, and a family friend named Ingemar was at the microphone speaking on faith. Apparently he didn't get the memo about not using visual aids in Sacrament meeting talks, because he had an entire flip chart full of graphs and charts that he was referencing. The one that I remember was a Venn Diagram with one circle labeled "Faith" and the other "Catherine", thus demonstrating that Faith and Catherine can coexist.

Faith is a favorite topic of study of mine. I reflect often on what distinguishes faith, hope, knowledge, and belief, and wonder regularly what roles doubt and certainty are meant to play in testimony.

In this church we like to tell each other that we know. We know Joseph Smith was a prophet, we know the Book of Mormon is true, we know Christ lives, we know this is his church.

I'm uncomfortable with these statements for several reasons: first, I don't believe them. Second, they're not true for me. Third, the pressure to be certain seems to me to have eclipsed real faith--the hopeful, trusting faith that Alma teaches us in his famous Alma 32 discourse--the kind that is more of a hope than a knowledge.

We're occasionally taught (like in the last General Conference) that faith and doubt can't coexist, but I remain unconvinced. Doubt and certainty can't coexist, but faith, Alma teaches us, is not certain.

The word choice is a cultural thing more than anything. Sure, some of the people claiming to know may really have certain knowledge of the truthfulness of what they are saying, but I think that's the exception. Whatever the case, I tend to feel like a sore thumb when I stand up to bear testimony and say that I believe. There's really nothing I can say I know, although on several points I feel I'm close. There are two things I believe to the point of rarely doubting: I believe in the existence of a God who cares about me, and I believe that priesthood blessings I've received (such as my patriarchal blessing) have been directed by that God. Beyond that, I believe this church is good for me and I believe that scripture study and prayer make my life better. All the rest is hope--I hope these prophets are what I sustain them as, I hope this plan of happiness will really lead to happiness, I hope that with God's help I can be full of charity and faith, I hope that someday this life will be worth the pain and struggle.

I'm not sure whether hope counts as faith, or if it's some kind of precursor, or something different entirely. Mormon teaches about the importance of having faith, hope, and charity, but doesn't specify what differentiates faith and hope. The Bible Dictionary defines faith as "hope for things which are not seen, but which are true" and as "confidence in something or someone" and charity as "the pure love of Christ"; there's no entry for hope, and I blame its absence for how baffling I find its inclusion in the faith-hope-charity triangle.

I think we can still coexist.

illustrated scriptures

    

               

Try Peeps of Mormon and The Brick Testament.