I woke up Sunday morning dreaming I was back in Täby, where I came to love this church. Everything about the chapel in my dream was Swedish and familiar, and a family friend named Ingemar was at the microphone speaking on faith. Apparently he didn't get the memo about not using visual aids in Sacrament meeting talks, because he had an entire flip chart full of graphs and charts that he was referencing. The one that I remember was a Venn Diagram with one circle labeled "Faith" and the other "Catherine", thus demonstrating that Faith and Catherine can coexist.
Faith is a favorite topic of study of mine. I reflect often on what distinguishes faith, hope, knowledge, and belief, and wonder regularly what roles doubt and certainty are meant to play in testimony.
In this church we like to tell each other that we know. We know Joseph Smith was a prophet, we know the Book of Mormon is true, we know Christ lives, we know this is his church.
I'm uncomfortable with these statements for several reasons: first, I don't believe them. Second, they're not true for me. Third, the pressure to be certain seems to me to have eclipsed real faith--the hopeful, trusting faith that Alma teaches us in his famous Alma 32 discourse--the kind that is more of a hope than a knowledge.
We're occasionally taught (like in the last General Conference) that faith and doubt can't coexist, but I remain unconvinced. Doubt and certainty can't coexist, but faith, Alma teaches us, is not certain.
The word choice is a cultural thing more than anything. Sure, some of the people claiming to know may really have certain knowledge of the truthfulness of what they are saying, but I think that's the exception. Whatever the case, I tend to feel like a sore thumb when I stand up to bear testimony and say that I believe. There's really nothing I can say I know, although on several points I feel I'm close. There are two things I believe to the point of rarely doubting: I believe in the existence of a God who cares about me, and I believe that priesthood blessings I've received (such as my patriarchal blessing) have been directed by that God. Beyond that, I believe this church is good for me and I believe that scripture study and prayer make my life better. All the rest is hope--I hope these prophets are what I sustain them as, I hope this plan of happiness will really lead to happiness, I hope that with God's help I can be full of charity and faith, I hope that someday this life will be worth the pain and struggle.
I'm not sure whether hope counts as faith, or if it's some kind of precursor, or something different entirely. Mormon teaches about the importance of having faith, hope, and charity, but doesn't specify what differentiates faith and hope. The Bible Dictionary defines faith as "hope for things which are not seen, but which are true" and as "confidence in something or someone" and charity as "the pure love of Christ"; there's no entry for hope, and I blame its absence for how baffling I find its inclusion in the faith-hope-charity triangle.
I think we can still coexist.
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I like Elder Oak's discussion of testimony from spring 2008 conference. I can't seem to post a link, but it's the first result if you google "lds.org oaks testimony 2008".
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that hope would be one aspect of the desire to believe, which Alma describes as the first step along the path of faith. The process outlined in Alma 32 is a pretty lengthy one, eventually culminating in feasting upon the fruit that will satisfy us so that we "hunger not, neither...thirst." In my experience, most things that are of great value (which, I believe, faith and the fruits thereof are) require great effort to obtain.
ReplyDeleteAs far as people stating that they "know" vs "believe," I'm sure some don't make a distinction between the two verbs; and most don't consider the distinction as closely as you do. While others, undoubtedly, feel that they do know and can testify of certain principles without doubt.
It's interesting to me that certain languages (Spanish comes to mind, since I'm familiar with it, but I'm assuming there may be others...) use the same verb for "hope" and "wait."
You doubt that faith and doubt can coexist? Hahahaha
ReplyDeleteI always think of "faith" as exercising belief in the atonement during times of trial, while "hope" is earnestly wishing for assistance. They're very closely related... Moroni says something to that effect in Moroni 7:42.
And as for believing vs. knowing, I honestly believe that some people can believe; that's one of their spiritual gift. I wish I had that, but for me belief has taken a lot of work and waiting.
Anyway, that's my two cents. :)
Alma 32 does teach us about knowing:
ReplyDelete34. “And now, behold, is your knowledge perfect? Yea, your knowledge is perfect in that thing, and your faith is dormant; and this because you know, for ye know that the word hath swelled your souls, and ye also know that it hath sprouted up, that your understanding doth begin to be enlightened, and your mind doth begin to expand. “
It was reading that verse soon before my mission that led me, for the first time in my life, to say "I know" in a testimony -- something I had never done before for reasons very similar to yours. In my notes on the verse I wrote the following: "A knowledge of truth, and the testimony to accompany it, can be obtained through recognizing the effect of such truth upon one’s own soul. This is perhaps more real than seeing an extraordinary visual manifestation confirming this truth." A few years later, I'd remove "perhaps" from the sentence. Recognizing how our spirit has been touched is more real, and far more lasting, than anything we could see with our eyes.
From previous conversations, I think you have more than belief that scripture study and prayer and church are good for you. You have experience in all three of those aspects. You know some of the effects they have on your soul. In some particular aspect of prayer, scripture study, and attending church, your knowledge is surely perfect, despite doubts in other aspects. It then becomes a matter of scale; in verses 35-36, Alma explains that although your knowledge may be perfect in one aspect, it certainly is not in the whole experiment, and you still need faith. But once we know that the scriptures, or prayer, or attending church, has "swelled [our] souls" in some promised way, that can be enough to honestly say that we know -- however small that initial knowledge may be.
p.s. As for hope, there was an article in the June Ensign (p. 8) that suggests a relationship between faith and hope that I find helpful, and I think you would too.