service, charity, and why we need to ask for help

Several weeks ago, the compassionate service committee of which I am a part (now under new leadership) met on the couches of our committee chair’s living room and we talked.

We discussed the possible needs of our fellow ward members, particularly of those who we know do not come to church frequently. We were successful in compiling lists of people we know are having rough times in life. We were less successful in planning ways to buoy these sisters up and share with them the joy we know this life and most especially this gospel can provide.

Perhaps, we said, some of them would like rides to church. Perhaps they would like more involvement from their visiting and home teachers. Perhaps they need friends to invite them to activities. Perhaps they need someone to wash their dishes for them, or to hold them while they cry. Perhaps they need hot dinner made for them. Perhaps their family is in crisis or they are struggling with depression. Perhaps they need someone to understand them, and perhaps we could understand. We’ve been there, all of us. We know how it feels to be human.

But we don’t know what they need, and we’re not sure how to find out, because we humans are too used to saying “no” when people ask if they can help.

We try to counter this by asking specific questions and offering specific services, but sometimes this just leads to people feeling like we are intruding into their lives, which is not our intent.

This, friends, is why we need to ask for help.

It’s my belief that most humans sincerely want to help each other. We want to reach out and be kind, but frequently we don’t know how. It’s easy to feel like to be a good person we need to constantly be offering help rather than asking for it. I think we need to do both.

This month’s visiting teaching message included the following thought from Elder Nelson:

The Lord said ‘My work and my glory [is] to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.’ (Moses 1:39.) So His devoted daughter-disciple may truly say, ‘My work and my glory is to help my loved ones reach that heavenly goal.’

By asking for the help we need, we give others the opportunity to grow through service and love, reaching closer towards the heavenly goal of immortality and eternal life. Additionally, we help them feel more comfortable approaching us when they are the ones in need.

I think the key in learning to serve others lies in developing charity towards them.

Pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ. (Moroni 7:48)