revolution

My silly FHE family was too lazy to go climbing last night, which knocked four happinesses off my list. Fortunately, a friend came to the rescue and invited me to come rappelling with her tomorrow. We're also going to visit an old folks home today, so between a good deed and a 200 foot thrill I should get through the week.

Meanwhile here's my theme song:

Change - Taylor Swift

It's kind of a silly one; Taylor Swift has done much better musically, but I am not that polished of a person at the moment and this fits me perfectly.

catherine the grouch

I'm such a grouch today; I can't seem to be nice to anyone. So I am listening to My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee with the volume at max and writing rows of happinesses in efforts to cheer up.

1. Temple Square was lovely on Saturday.
2. I learned to take busses and TRAX in Utah.
3. My Aunt is wonderful.
4. So is my immediate family.
5. I won a golden Jar Jar Binks for my contribution to our ward Break the Fast yesterday. It was the "Thanks For Showing Up" award for the laziest dessert--a package of bunny peeps from which I had removed most of the ears.
6. Headphones and the resilience of my ears which have not yet lost all their hearing despite the abuse I have been putting them through.
7. Friends.
8. BYU.
9. Yoga.
10. Rock-climbing tonight.
11. My fireside committee members who work without even being asked.
12. The new translation of the Swedish Book of Mormon is great.
13. I almost succeeded in seducing someone last night.
14. Climbing tonight.
15. Climbing tonight.
16. Climbing tonight.

I'm gonna tear the climbing gym to pieces and humiliate my FHE bros with my ferocity.

never saw blue like that

During the RS good news minute yesterday I considered announcing that my week had contained three consecutive good days--a miraculous occurrence in my life.

I didn't announce it, but I did sit there and smile and think of this song about discovering a brand-new bright dimension to life. Hayley Westenra sings it beautifully.

Never Saw Blue - Hayley Westenra

called to serve

As a female freshman here at BYU, it's easy to feel forgotten in all the fuss and celebration of the weekly mission call announcements. Although I'm just as excited as the next girl to hear what corner of the globe my friends will call their home for the next two years (especially if that corner is Stockholm, Sweden as is the case for one of my FHE brothers), I have a tendency to feel the tiniest bit irked when mission-prep talk leaks into every church-related gathering.

So, this week I resolved to stop feeling left out and in the spirit of every-member-a-missionary I called myself to serve in the wherever-I-am mission for the next two years. I didn't have a cool call-opening party or announce it in sacrament meeting, but I made commitments that give me a sense of focus and purpose.

One of these commitments is to read all the standard works. Lacking natural organizational skills, I am starting with the book of Psalms. I have grown very fond of David's usage of the word "lovingkindness" and have marveled at the beauty of phrases like this one from the eighteenth psalm:

Thy gentleness hath made me great.

yellow roses

Daily when I see these flowers (petals crisply dry now but still vibrant) I think of recent kindnesses and smile. The yellow roses remind me to appreciate my family and friends and all the encouragement they offer. This week some kindness have taken me by surprise.

I got asked out on a date last week for the first time ever. It was flattering and fun to feel what it's like to be the asked and not the asker, and the date was as perfect a first date as anyone could ask for: comfortable, interesting, friendship-building fun.  We went to the MOA and discussed the art, focusing especially on works by Walter Wick (I SPY, etc) and religious art. It feels delightful to have been noticed and invited for a one-on-one activity.

Even less predictable was an incident today which I am hoping will begin a friendship: before Pen and the Sword I spent a half-hour in the honors lounge with two classmates and my favorite TA, eating chocolate and talking casually. Across the room I noticed a girl who seemed to be listening to our conversation, but assumed that she was probably just annoyed at us for being loud. However, as we stood to go to class, she walked over and introduced herself to me, explaining that while listening to me she had been thinking that I seem like someone she could be really good friends with. She then asked for my cell number--I wish I'd thought to get hers too, but I didn't. I smiled and told her that she'd made my day (no joke!) and then walked merrily to class. It surprises me that anyone would want to be my friend when their introduction to me was the sort of conversation that she heard; it was very Catherine and most people find that somewhat shocking.

So those are my stories for the day. More things to do tomorrow, and hopefully some will to do them. My mood is getting better and I can only hope my energy and focus improve with it--and hope my new friend calls.

college level coloring books

Some months ago I bought an 8-color scripture marking pencil. I use it almost daily. I'm not sure the color-coding has much value after I've already colored it, but I focus better as I read when I am sorting concepts by color.

 

Although I'm still tweaking it a bit, my coloring system is something like this:

Christ, special scriptures

Charity, how we should treat others

Warnings, sin, transgression, punishments

Holy Ghost, Spirit of God, revelation, baptism, sanctification

Faith, repentance, priesthood, prayer

Commandments, righteousness, blessings, motivation, praise

Pre-mortal and post-mortal existence, temple

Items of historical or literary interest

The other night while coloring I came across a verse in Job where he is defending his faith to his friends.

Job 21:3  Suffer me that I may speak; and after that I have spoken, mock on.

Amen.

i thank You God

i thank You God for most this amazing day - Eric Whitacre / Brigham Young University Singers

morning by morning, new mercies I see

Yesterday was really a good day--so good that I began piecing together something coherent from the numerous blog posts I've begun this week.

Two months have passed that I'm glad to see gone. My hospital stay was lifechanging but difficult. I was eager to come home, but now I'm here it's hard to deal with all the tasks and dull realities that come with college life. I'm looking for an apartment for next fall and simultaneously looking for ways to outlive winter and productively enjoy spring and summer. Today and yesterday I made steps towards both of those goals, and that is a good feeling.

Daddy leaves this afternoon for Austria. He took me apartment and grocery shopping this morning and hugged courage into me. I'm so glad he came; his help has meant so much to me.

On one wall of the hallway leading to the hospital unit where I stayed, fluid black lettering reminded both incoming patients and visitors to "be kind, for everyone is fighting a great battle". I've thought about that quote a lot since coming home. Besides my family and three close friends, no one knew where I was or why. Most didn't notice my absence, and I'm certain that I wouldn't notice theirs. I am not that observant. I'll try to notice more now, though.

The night before entering the hospital I reached one of the lowest points of my life. Ironically, when I needed help most was when it seemed hardest to request it, so although some close friends and my bishop walked past while I lay in the cool grass crying, I didn't call out to any of them, and none of them stopped. Later two friends told me (before hearing that anything had happened) that they felt impressed to check on me, but never got around to doing so. I wonder what I would have done if our roles had been reversed. I fear I would have been too hesitant and shy to check on any of my friends. Now that I have been the one beaten by the roadside, I'll try to act more like the good Samaritan.

Becca was my healer that night. She took me to my Bishop for counsel and a blessing and then took me to her apartment for comfort and safety. I entered the hospital the next day. The first night was the hardest; from there forward I have seen new mercies every morning (see previous post for the song which lent the title for this post). I gained a reputation in the hospital for being their most popular patient; I credit my incredible family for that title and thank you all for your love and support. Flowers and phonecalls, visits and prayers--all brought courage and cheer.

I'm doing well now. I thank God for his faithfulness and thank you for your love, and as I move through these long weeks I strive to remember to be kind, for everyone is fighting a great battle.

Thanks for helping me fight mine.