Alma 32 and trampled grass

   

As I studied Alma 32 for Book of Mormon class today, I was all full of questions. The seed is the word is the atonement of Christ, and if we will plant it we will know it is good because it will grow. Grow? What exactly does Alma mean here? I'm still working on that one.

We went outside to study Alma 32, and wandered on the grass lovingly cared for by BYU's fantastic grounds crew. Teacher asked me to prepare to teach the class the key doctrines of Alma 42 at the end of class, which is a lot harder than it sounds. That took some of my focus, but enough of me stayed with the class that I noticed these bald spots by the campus walkways, and thought about Alma 32 and the seed that is the word that is the doctrine of the atonement, and how care and nurturing are needed to protect its growth.

All these grassless shortcuts by the walkways are created when we feel we don't have time to stick to the paths or would be too inconvenienced by doing so. Grass is resilient, but too much trampling flattens and then kills it. The connection isn't perfect, but as I walked I thought about how often we decide we don't have time or space in our lives for the precious gift of the atonement. We ignore and trample on our faith because we feel we're in too much of a hurry to read scriptures or attend the temple. We reject Christ's atonement when we decide that so many others have already walked off the path that it won't make a difference if we do too, and even more so when we decide that we have trampled on the grass so many times ourselves that it's pointless to stop now.

If we can prioritize and protect the word, taking time to give it space to grow in our lives and believing that now is not too late to begin to respect, accept, appreciate the atonement made by Jesus Christ, we'll have the privilege of watching our lives become more beautiful as the bald spots fill with growth and life.

belly growth, or "please don't take my picture from the side"

                  

I try to be a Dove girl. I try to keep a healthy, honest friendship with my body. I have no qualms about letting people see me natural. I keep my makeup minimal, don't wear figure-changing clothing, and shave only when I feel like it.

Still, sometimes I feel insecure, like today while watching a short film in which I starred as Astrid, a quirky artist who looked artistically pregnant throughout most of the film. Part of it is posture and the rest is genes. Mama nature decided to collect my fat cells on my belly. I don't think they are even extra fat cells--I am happy with my weight. It's just that from the side, I look Greek.

Ancient Greek--like those beautiful statues in the Vatican Museum, women with stomachs that promised to comfortably surround babies-to-be.

It's just that in today's western society it's hard to feel comfortable with a healthy belly--especially when you are less proportionate than those Greek girls, which I am.

And so today while watching my disproportionately plump stomach push the fabric of my movie outfits forward, I decided a few things:

1. I really ought to learn to stand with better posture

2. It's wonderful that summer is arriving with its promises of mountain climbs

3. Next time I get caught on camera, I'm going to cheat out a little more.

a call to conscience: seeking wisdom out of the best books

I've been having a faith crisis of sorts lately, and have spent many hours seeking greater understanding of the things I believe to be true. In addition to the obvious gospel sources, I have spent a lot of time with the writings of Martin Luther King, Jr. I think I've found myself a hero:

What is needed is a realization that power without love is reckless and abusive, and that love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best it love correcting everything that stands against love.

Let us be dissatisfied until that day when nobody will shout "White Power!" when nobody will shout "Black Power!" but everybody will talk about God's power and human power.

 

We must not become bitter… No, we must not lose faith in our white brothers. Somehow we must believe that the most misguided among them can learn to respect the dignity and worth of all human personality.

 

Our aim must never be to defeat or humiliate the white man… We must act in such a way as to make possible a coming together of white people and colored people…based on mutual respect.

I'm concerned about a better world. I'm concerned about justice; I'm concerned about brotherhood; I'm concerned about truth. And when one is concerned about that, he can never advocate violence. For through violence you may murder a murderer, but you can't murder murder. Through violence you may murder a liar, but you can't establish truth. Through violence you may murder a hater, but you can't murder hate through violence. Darkness cannot put out darkness; only light can do that.

(all quotes taken from A Call to Conscience)

King strikes me as being a kind of prophet. I am amazed by the truth, clarity, and love expressed in his speeches. While fighting my own battles in pursuit of justice and improvement, I try to remember that, as King so wisely taught, "Love is ultimately the only answer to mankind's problems."

solutions

One of my best friends sent me this cartoon this morning. It solves two of my biggest problems: thinking too much and procrastinating meals. It is also awesome because it's Garfield.

camping

The spring weather makes me wish I had a truck and camping buddies and a week off school.

I don't have these, but I do have a faded quilt and this delicious hill:

        

I spend an hour out there most evenings after the sun has set, curled into my quilt to watch the moon rise and breathe in the cooling air.

I tell my friends I am out camping.